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Elsa Stevenson's avatar

Great topic. Lots of material for though. One thread that comes up for me (Im a practitioner who works with /through trauma very regularly).

The conceptual dilemas and contradictions you mention regarding trauma derive in my understanding from a tendency from therapists to believe in their models as if they are reality. Models are maps and not the territory. We use them first and foremost to bring a certain order and meaning into the chaos patients are in (and that we are also in but might feel more in control). Trauma is an interpretation, part of sense making. And sense making is soothing and sometimes deeply meaningful, and could therefore be used as part of the healing.

Unfortunately psychotherapy promotes more knowledge than wisdom. It takes wisdom to use models convincingly and lightly - at the same time.

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AliceEm's avatar

Having three times partnered up with men with extreme adverse childhood experiences and addiction, I really feel what you are saying about ‘all this trauma’ sort of muddying the waters, or diluting attention ... while also making it feel more ok to be ‘effed up’... and also creating a risk of unhelpfully centering trauma or supporting the building of identities around it. Great job teasing out all these tensions.

We’ve followed Alex howard some, through his reset program which I really like because while it is trauma ‘informed,’ it isn’t trauma ‘centered’. It’s centered on mental habits, ie, when your internal voice starts hurling abuse at you, you can take a moment, realize you have a choice to continue with that or to do something else. Mine was a more invisible attachment problem than what my trio of long term partners have each faced, but stout nonetheless (hence the addict addiction it seems), being very alone way way too much from quite young. I remember very little of my childhood I find, compared to many people. I don’t think the memories are ‘hidden,’ I think of it more as a choice of thought-focus habits. the unvisited memory synapses just don’t have good pathways leading to them...

Meanwhile, more recently I have come out of whatever became of the Left, angry for feeling like people want to shame me for being tough and unrepentant, shrugging at trigger warnings and chaffing at obsessively formulaic meeting practices that reject anyone with charisma from taking the floor and speaking as somehow automatically a bully. The safety culture favors bureaucracy and standard predictable procedure against vitality. Directly against vitality I think, and it’s being covered up something like ‘only privileged bullies think that they are above the talking stick rules’ when actually maybe the person who is being forceful in a conversation against current meeting rule convention actually has something to say. Not that there was never an overbearing bore in a meeting, but those people could be contained by other people stepping up rather than by bureaucratic procedure if people were emboldened to manage the spaces that matter to them instead of relying on authority and procedures. This ‘meeting rules’ example is just one example, and it feels far from the trauma story but something about the way trauma is being used culturally feels relevant to it. Trauma in the abstract as a bludgeon separated from trauma in the flesh as experienced by so many people who find themselves in families failing to function in a culture which cuts off everyone at the roots, thirsty and wilted.

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